conversation with a four year old

Conversation with a four year old:
Z: "If you die before me, who will look after me?"
Me (trying to be as comforting as possible): "You will be a grown-up and be able to look after yourself.. you will be like Daddy and you might have your own children to look after"
Z: "will i be a Daddy? and who will be Mummy? Do boys marry girls?"
Me: "Yes that's right.. so you could marry Suzy or Milly or Jane"
Z (fascinated by this idea): "Who else?" "Who else?" .. until we had been through most of his friends.. "or M!"
Me: "Well no, you're not supposed to marry your sister. You marry someone from a different family with a different mummy and daddy"
Z: "But Aunty Tri married Uncle Nick and he's from the same family"
Me: " No he is in the same family now because they are married.. but he has a different family and a different Mummy and Daddy to Aunty Tri."
Z: " where does he live?"
Me: " He lives with Aunty Tri but when he was a boy he lived with his Mummy and Daddy in a different house"
Z: "I think I WILL marry M"
Me: "well you're not really supposed to marry your sister."
Z: "well, I will tell the police."

september soul searching

for the first year of little miss M's life, i made these all the time - they were very quick, easy, adaptable, fool-proof, enjoyable for Little Mr Z to help with, and totally fulfilled my breastfeeding-sweet-lardy-carb cravings that accompanied my mid-morning coffee. they could be easily whipped up if guests were coming over for coffee or tea. i wonder how many of these we ate that year!
now it is october a couple of years on and i'm making them again - why? i think in september and october i feel depressed and inspired in round-abouts. i start to re-evaluate my life and how i spend my time and how i relate to and care for my family.. some of it gets me down and i want more, i want change, i want to be better. i write endless lists and ideas, goals, dreams and prayers... i plan new businesses, new health regimes, new menus, new attitudes, new activities, new ways of disciplining, new friendships, new routines... a new me! lets see how much of it sticks. it may all fade and i will find all my lists next september and laugh.. or cry! let's hope the best bits and the manageable bits - the inspired and good bits - stick and make a positive difference. 
i start with a big batch of buttery cookies to eat while i drink coffee and write my lists.

this recipe is on a post-it note with 'favourite easy cookies' scrawled across the top. i think it came from my sister - thanks tri you always inspire me. 

gather:

3.5 cups flour

1.5 cups sugar

1 block butter

2 eggs

optional bits - chocolate chunks, almonds (halved), ground almonds, chopped apricots or raisins ...

1. preheat oven to 150C

2. mix the flour, sugar and butter with your finger-tips until well combined and like a crumble

3. stir in 2 eggs

4. optional - add 1/2 cup of any extra bits (dried fruit, nuts, chocolate)

5. spoon on to a greased tray and bake for 12 mins (remove from oven before they turn brown)

goodbyes

goodbyes with loved ones who live in far away lands are so very painful... they leave an almost unbearable ache in the pit of my stomach.

 after saying goodbye at the airport to my dear big sister and her gorgeous family at the end of the summer, my head, my heart, my tummy, my feet felt achey with heaviness.

there is something so deeply connected about family. something unspoken and visceral - a familiarity and understanding so deep - the shared heritage, childhood experience, way of thinking, way of being. and a longing for our little ones to grow up knowing and enjoying each other... feeling that cousin connection that also runs so deep.

i wanted to eat this entire pile of pastries to comfort myself... but nothing could really fill the void of wanting their company and wanting it to be less time before i see them again.

birthday paella

back in May, after a major roller-coaster with my sister's health and fight against cancer, i just wanted to be near my dear family and spend a lovely evening cherishing them and enjoying the comfort of each other's company. my sister was only a few days post-surgery so all the laughter gave her a very sore tummy and we eventually had to try not to be funny... only serious conversation allowed. my gorgeous Sam cooked a delicious meal for us all. and my niece made home made profita rolls!

we did get in to a long and ridiculous conversation about the price of saffron and what if we paid for things in saffron instead of coins. 

This recipe is from the wonderful Bill Granger. a friend suggested the sliced lemons around the top which was a nice added touch. Sam replaced mussels with diced chicken which worked very well and i would recommend it. 

Gather: 

80ml (1/3 cup) olive oil 

1 chorizo sausage thinly sliced

200g shallots

2 garlic cloves

2 tsp sweet paprika

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

500g arborio rice

400g tinned chopped tomatoes

1/2 tsp saffron (soaked in 1tbsp water)

1 red pepper

1.25 L (5 cups) chicken stock

300g green beans

18 large raw prawns (shrimp)

300g black mussels (didn't have these in ours as nowhere was selling them that night. you can replace with diced chicken)

2 tbsp chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

ground pepper

1. heat 2 tsp oil in large pan over medium-high heat. add the chorizo (and chicken if using that) and cook, stirring occasionally, for 6-7mins until crisp. remove and set aside.

2. reduce the heat to medium and add remaining oil

3. add the shallots and sprinkle with sea salt. cook & stir for 5 mins. 

4. add the garlic, paprika, cayenne and cook & stir for another minute.

5. add the rice and stir to coat in oil. 

6. add the tomatoes, saffron, pepper and stock. bring to the boil and reduce heat to low, cover - stir occasionally - for 15-20 mins until rice is almost tender.

7. add the beans, prawns, mussels and cooked chorizo (& chicken). cover & cook for another 10 mins, until mussels have opened and prawns are cooked through.(discard any mussels that haven't opened)

8. stir through the parsley and season to taste with salt and pepper.

happy birthday to me. can you believe my 11 year old niece made this fabulous dessert? 

last-minute muffins (no eggs)

These are unbelievably quick to make... seriously they can be in the oven in about 4 minutes! they are not your gourmet muffin but they are brilliant if you need to make a snack or have cakes for friends in a hurry. they are not super sweet - more of a whole wheat and honey mid-morning muffin... chopped fruit of chocolate chips help to sweeten them up a little. The great thing is they don't require any eggs, which is how i came across them. i said i would make cakes for a coffee morning and late at night realised i had no eggs. these are really adaptable so you can add different fruit, nuts, chocolate chips. and they are very easy to make with kids.

Gather:

4 tbsp milk

4 tbsp (100g) butter

4 tbsp honey

4 bananas

2 cups wholemeal self-raising flour

2 tsp baking powder

handful of dried chopped fruit, nuts or chocolate chips

1. preheat the oven to 180C

2. melt the milk, butter & honey in a saucepan over gentle heat. add the bananas and mash

3. pour the wet mixture into a bowl with the dry ingredients and mix gently - add more milk if too dry.

4. gently stir in any extra bits (fruit, nuts or chocolate). i added chocolate chips which melted nicely and swirled in to the mix. little miss m doesn't not like "bits"

5. spoon in to muffin cases (makes 12-18 muffins)

6. cook 180C for 20 minutes or until golden brown

birthday cake for daddy

i was super organised and made this cake weeks in advance and put it in the freezer. it made the day of sam's birthday so much more relaxed than the usual stress of trying to bake a cake on the day. 

it was utterly delicious and moist and very very moreish. we had this cake with the children in the afternoon and then headed off on a surprise secret trip i had organised - our first night away from the kids EVER!! we walked along the beach, drank champagne in the rose garden of a five-star hotel, went to a quirky pub for dinner, stayed the night in a cheap B&B and vowed to try to have a night away on our own every 6 months. neither of us have parents living near by so childcare for such things is tricky. my dad kindly looked after them on this occasion and we are so grateful. much as we totally adore our children, it was so refreshing to be nowhere near them and to wake up in the morning and lie in bed with no responsibilities... 

it was pouring with rain when we woke up (as it did for most of july) so instead of going to the beach we went to a shopping mall!!!.. the most hideous place you can imagine. but it was so great to try on clothes together with no distraction. i think we came away with lots of cheap potential outfits for the weddings we were going to over the summer and returned most of them. but we had a lot of fun... it is amazing what tat you can think looks great in the store and then realise how tacky it is when you get home and look in your own mirror. the shop mirrors must have tat-reflectors that hide how cheap & overly tight things really look.

clothes shopping is something that is totally impossible with kids in tow. i took both my children with me when they were tiny and i was desperate for some new jeans. i grabbed a million pairs off the shelves and flung them over my shoulder, pushed the overloaded stroller in to the disabled changing room and started manic-ly trying on one pair after the next. my baby started screaming and my toilet-training 2 year old boy yelled at the top of his lungs with each pair that i took off "mummy doing a poo!" i eventually left in a hurry with nothing.. completely flustered and ready to sob - can i do nothing for myself any more?...apparently not.

this cake is from The Hummingbird Bakery Cookbook and thanks to misselizabethsbakingblog for the inspiration. i'm not sure what it's called - a banana pineapple walnut cake?

gather: 

300g caster sugar
3 eggs
300ml sunflower oil
270g bananas, mashed
1 tsp ground cinnamon
300g plain flour
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
½ tsp salt
¼ tsp vanilla extract
100g tinned pineapple (chopped)
100g walnuts (chopped)
500g cream cheese
300g icing sugar 

1. preheat the oven to 170⁰C. Grease 2 round cake tins. 

2. beat together the sugar, eggs, oil, banana and cinnamon.

3. stir in the bicarbonate of soda, salt and vanilla extract 

4. slowly beat in the flour

5. stir in the walnuts and pineapple

4. divide the mixture between the tins 

5. bake for 20-25 minutes 

6. cool cakes on a wire rack

7. for the icing - beat the cream cheese and icing sugar together - add icing sugar to suit your taste (good excuse to keep sticking your finger in to the mix)

8. when the cakes are cooled, spread a third of the icing on one cake and put the next cake on top - cover this cake with the remaining icing. put walnut halves on top to decorate.

here it is...

and leftovers the next day .. and the next. it was so moist and delicious i could eat it every afternoon with a cup of tea.

banana, prune & almond muffins

i made these as a getting home from school snack. i have had a tin of prunes in the cupboard that needed using up (you know when a tin of prunes is reaching its use by date that it has been sitting there for way too long!). These turned out really well. Mr Z and I loved them. Little Miss M wasn't so keen on all the bits in them - bits of prune and almonds. you could use ground almonds or no nuts at all... or a different nut altogether. i think walnuts would be nice but didn't have any in the house. Little Miss M has taken to shrieking when she cant have her way - such as not being able to eat the muffins that we had taken to the school playground to give to a friend. She has also, very sweetly, adopted the phrase "in my life" from her brother saying things like "that's the smallest snail i have EVER seen in my life!!" She tends to stick it on the end of sentences rather randomly. When she looked at the finished muffins she proclaimed "i need more cakes in my life!" .. don't we all!!

Gather:

100g dark brown sugar

3 tablespoons vegetable oil

1 egg

3 large bananas

1 tsp vanilla extract

200g plain flour

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp bicarbonate of soda

pinch of salt

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1 tin of prunes

1/2 cup loosely chopped almonds

1. preheat oven to 180

2. mash the bananas

3. combine the sugar, oil and egg and beat well

4. mix in the banana and vanilla

5. sift the dry ingredients together and mix gently in to the wet ingredients

6. gently stir in the prunes and chopped almonds

7. spoon the mix in to muffin cases or greased muffin tray

8. bake for 20 mins

These are heaven!

black beans & bacon

i always end up making this meal for friends after they have had a baby. i'm not sure why - i think because it is easy so i know if i promise a meal and then my day goes horribly wrong, i will still (probably) be able to make this meal (just!). i also know that post-baby people can be brought a lot of lasagne's, shepherd's pies and beef stew type meals and can end up craving some beans and veg. so this one is on the lighter side and very tasty. black beans are one of my favourites.

1. chop and saute a big onion, 4 strips of British bacon, a red pepper, a green pepper, a stick of celery.

2. add a box of ready-cooked black beans, a tin of chopped tomatoes, a tsp chilli powder, a sprinkle of salt and pepper and simmer for 20mins

serve with rice and a big dollop of soured cream on top

polenta & mozzarella

this is one of the easiest meals ever. the ratio of effort to tastiness is brilliant! it has 4 ingredients! and it is easy & fun for kids to make which is a bonus... whether they eat it or not is another question. polenta does have an unusual texture!

slice a packet of hard polenta in to 1cm thick slices

lay the polenta out in a roasting dish

pour a tin of chopped tomatoes over the polenta [or use this tomato sauce for more flavour: 1 tin chopped tomatoes, tbsp oil, tsp salt, tsp sugar, 2 cloves of chopped garlic, pinch of pepper - all simmered for 30mins]

rip apart 2 balls of mozzarella and spread over the top

bake for 20mins

sprinkle with fresh basil leaves and a grind of salt & pepper

served here with corn and our new pig corn holders

rhubarb & apricot compote

this is so delicious and can be served as a pudding with yoghurt on top... or for breakfast with yoghurt underneath.. or on top of porridge. make a big batch and have a little at each meal..

you can experiment with different fruits or just do plain rhubarb.

chop the fruit and place in a saucepan with 1/2 tsp water. add 3 tbsp sugar. simmer for 25 minutes, stirring occasionally. test and add more sugar to suit your taste. 

breakfast - on porridge

pudding - with yoghurt & chopped toasted almonds on top