Tuesday, 3 April 2012


bedtime can be such a beautiful time of lovely stories, prayer, songs, intimate words, interesting questions about the day, thoughts, feelings, kisses and cuddles .. all very bonding. the other night Little Mr Z said to me " i love your earrings mummy, they are really pretty. when we get home you can have a gold star because your face is so lovely and your earrings are so pretty." he stroked the sides of my face as he spoke and my heart melted. 
other nights are a disaster - when they and i are too tired. the kids won't stop talking and pushing and pushing for more time and more games and more talk and a different book that you can't find and another kiss and the door slightly more ajar and more milk and they have a screaming melt-down if i do anything wrong or try to do anything quickly. i lose my patience and feel claustrophobic and out of control and anxious about it getting so late for the kids and wanting it all to be over so i can have my dinner and my space in the evening. after these bedtimes when i've got desperate and totally lost my temper i feel like a horrible horrible mother - full of guilt and sad that the day ended on such a yucky note. last night i lost it, tonight we just got the giggles because the whole thing got so ridiculous and felt like it would never ever end! i vow to start bedtimes earlier so that Litte Mr Z can talk and talk and talk...
chilli is a lovely comforting meal that you can pre-prepare. it even tastes better after a couple of days in the fridge. here's how i make my chilli:
1. put 2 tablespoons of oil in a strong oven-proof saucepan.
2. heat and add 2 chopped onions, 3 chopped garlic cloves and i chopped green pepper. saute for a few minutes.
3. add 500g lean mince and stir until brown
4. add half a cup of red wine and simmer for a few minutes
5. add 1 tin of chopped tomatoes and bring to simmering point
6. add 1 tin of kidney beans
7. add 1 tsp chilli powder, 1 tsp cinnamon and 3 squares of dark chocolate
8. add pinch of salt and pepper
9. add 1 pint of chicken stock
10. preheat oven to 160C
11. simmer on low heat for 40 minutes
12. put in the oven for 2 hours (stir after 1 hour)
13. serve with rice and grated cheddar cheese


  1. Lovely story about your gold star, Becca - I'm sure You deserve it - even on the difficult nights, you're still in there with them. I think before I had kids I used to think I was a "nice" person, but motherhood opened up awareness of my beast within!!

  2. That gold star quote is one to treasure forever! I'm always amazed that David loves me, even after the bad days when I feel I've just been horrible all day. Though I should add that today at rest time we had a first... Me: "I love you." David: "I don't!"

  3. What a lovely story! I am facing some serious mothering frustrations right now so I feel for you! Bedtime can be soooo hard. I love the idea of Chocolate in chili. Def going to try that soon. Thanks for all the wonderful ideas.


thank you. i love your comments x