two things

two things that drive me mad:

1. an exhausted child resisting sleep
2. a child resisting getting dressed

sleep and getting dressed are pretty major parts of our lives so i'm working on chilling out and not letting it get to me so much. an internal mother rage can boil at these things but i'm trying to breathe deep and let go...

after seeing daddy off to work this morning, little mr z told me :
'i told daddy two things - could he get back as quickly as he can so he can say goodnight to me specially, and mummy is going to read my story tonight.' - the importance of the bedtime ritual - he's planning it out already and it's 8am.

pasta play

pasta is so lovely and tactile - a tray of it kept my boy entertained for a long time yesterday - we added in a scooping pot... then a handbag..

and some weighing scales

the next day i put my two-year old to work cleaning up the pasta (ie. moving it from one container to the other - a 2yr old heaven)

until she poured the entire lot on to the floor and my son lept in with delight and the kitchen became a sea of pasta! 

 we cleared them all up together (the reward being pasta in the good pasta jar!). I'm just glad you boil pasta before eating it and am hoping no rabbit droppings got cleaned up with it!

unexpected guests

with a family of six turning up for tea i thought i better have some food ready. i also had my three year old to entertain. so we set to cooking. this simple meal was perfect for both involving little mr z and feeding hungry kids.

pour oil in two empty dishes

saute garlic and add two tins of chopped tomatoes, salt and pepper - leave to simmer

break up four mozzarella balls

and chop a big courgette in to slices

place a layer of lasagne on the bottom of the oiled dishes

pour some of the hot tomato mix over the lasagne sheets

put the courgette slices over the tomato 

spread the mozzarella over the courgette and add another layer of lasagne

Add another layer of tomato mix and cover in grated cheddar

bake in the oven (180) for 40 minutes

serve

taste-testing - yum!

had some left-over chocolate chip cookie dough in the freezer to finish things off

                                 

internal mother whip

I just came across this poem on my friend Rachel's blog:

If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again

by Diane Loomans

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self esteem first, and the house later.
I'd fingerpaint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I'd model less about the love of power,
And more about the power of love.

This made me cry. Why is it so hard to feel like an awesome mother? Some days I do. But too often the stuff of this poem plays on my mind and can fill me with guilt - the internal mother whip that we can too easily lash ourselves with. I don't want my mothering to be guilt-driven and all about me. So I'm hoping this poem can be - not a slap on the wrist, but new inspiration for tomorrow and the next day... Thank you Rach.

And here is something to make you laugh from our local pet shop. Laughter never fails to inspire and dilute stress 

wine and coffee

i recently saw this funny The Uppers & Downers of Parenting (Or, Coffee & Wine). it made me laugh. why do i find wine and coffee so very comforting. they take the edge off. make me believe that once i've had them i'll be able to cope.. so much better.. until the next morning when i feel like a half-dead fire-breathing dragon yet again. when will the cycle end? what can i do to break it and feel more human in the morning? lovely hubby tells me it's just exhausting having young children, that's just the way it is. i feel there's more. there could be more energy out there at my disposal, i could be a better mum with more energetic, patient, positive and calm thoughts in the morning. maybe i should eat more healthily, go to bed earlier, get some exercise, never drink alcohol.. but i need those comforts .. those are the good things. maybe i need to meditate, to pray, to do yoga. the battle for more patience, more energy continually alludes me. perhaps in lent i'll try some new things... if i can find the energy!! i will keep you posted

                                                  

camera flash going off in my face too early in the morning! ow!

hot toddies

hot toddies have got us through the winter. lovely hubby and i are somewhat addicted to our nightly ritual

We owe thanks to Nigel Slater's hot toddy recipe which is so delicious and smooth:

Put 1tsp of honey and a measure of whisky in a mug or heatproof glass. Add two cloves and half a cinnamon stick then top up with just-off-the-boil water. Stir in a slice of lemon and just enough lemon juice to balance the sweetness of the honey. Drink as soon as it doesn't burn your lips.

leaving the house

i am a mum, how did that happen? i've been a mum for four years and i feel like a novice.. like it was only days ago that lovely hubby and i would decide to go out, would put on our coats and leave... carrying nothing.. nothing!! we walked, meandered, stopped to look at things, shopped, sat in cafes, moved on to bars and eventually wandered home... chatting much of the way.

oh how things have changed. leaving the house now takes approximately one hour... each step moving us all closer to melt-down or tantrum - searching, packing, finding lost items, re-packing, remembering spares, zips, buttons, knots, velcro, hats, gloves, shoes, persuading, convincing, bribing, cajoling, threatening, pleading, crying, pretending to leave child behind and of course ... last minute pooing! Finally leaving, returning for forgotten items, finding keys, collecting forgotten item plus a few more, another toilet stop.. AND we're out! .... it must be almost lunch and nap time... better get home soon right!?

Some things I've forgotten how to do -

wandering slowly through an art gallery 

reading a magazine in a cool non-child-friendly cafe

while hubby sites across from me and does the same!

looking up for long enough to notice, appreciate and PHOTOGRAPH a shelf of trendy items 

taking a photo of ourselves

ahhh the indulgent days...

you know i wouldn't change a thing

but life has certainly changed

halloween

We had fun preparing for Halloween

little mr z enjoyed drawing his design on paper for a pumpkin face

and then drawing it on to the pumpkin

he used a sharp corn on the cob holder to poke out the lines of his face - easier and safer than a sharp knife!

and here they are - little mr z's much more exciting than mine - with the sharp teeth and cool nostrils

i would recommend roasting the pumpkin seeds in oil and salt - so delicious and more-ish. little mr z and i ate them all afternoon while we worked

And lovely hubby brought these beautiful vegetables home from the market

raw vedge

i have rediscovered raw vegetables. and how much less effort is it to chop up vegetables and throw them on a plate than to also steam and serve them - cauliflower, courgette, broccoli, spring onion, carrot... YUM

And I have so much more energy after this lunch than a big sandwich or bowl of pasta. I guess it just takes the energy and inspiration to do all the chopping!!

breakfast

we bought a second hand gas barbeque. lovely hubby was so excited he cooked breakfast on it 

yu-u-um

 this is my favourite breakfast. my mother used to cook it for us regularly but for saturday night dinner not breakfast. she is american. i love the delicious american gems she has passed on to me. i'll give you the recipe some time.

or you can just go ahead and eat chocolate on the streets of Prague .. mmmm..

so much for New Year's resolutions and healthy eating